Some autistic people use self-harm as a way to cope with or express overwhelming emotional distress. This can be hugely upsetting and worrying for their parents and carers. This guide explains signs to look out for and how to get help for your child.
 

What is self-harm? 

“Self-harm is when somebody intentionally damages or injures their body. It's usually a way of coping with or expressing overwhelming emotional distress. 

Sometimes when people self-harm, they feel on some level that they intend to die. More than half of people who die by suicide have a history of self-harm. 

But the intention is more often to punish themselves, express their distress, or relieve unbearable tension. Sometimes it's a mixture of all three. 

Self-harm can also be a cry for help.” 

The NHS website
 

Causes of self-harm in autistic people 

Autistic people may find it difficult to communicate and understand others. This can include things like making sense of their own feelings, communicating how they feel and interacting and socialising with others. These challenges can mean autistic people are more likely to experience anxiety and depression, which may make them more vulnerable to self-harm. It is important to be aware of and address any triggers that may cause your child more anxiety and could potentially lead to self-harm. Some triggers to look out for are: 

• being socially isolated or rejected 
• being bullied 
• difficulties with transition, for example, changes at school or home. 

If you feel your child is experiencing these challenges, it is important to get help and support.
 

Signs of self-harm 

Young Minds sets out some signs that may mean a young person is self-harming:  

• unexplained cuts, bite marks, burns  
• bald patches  
• keeping covered, avoiding swimming  
• bloody tissues in bins  
• becoming more isolated and withdrawn  
• expressing feelings of failure and self-blame. 
   

What to do if your child is self-harming 

If your child is self-harming, you can access support by contacting your GP to get any injuries checked and for a referral to your local mental health service team.  

You can ask your GP for an emergency appointment or the out of hours team. You can also contact NHS 111 (England, Scotland and Northern Ireland) or NHS Direct 0845 46 47 (Wales) to get out of hours advice.  

You can also visit our mental health support page for more information about seeking help.

It is very important to seek help as early as possible. Early intervention and management of the causes of self-harm is very important and will help to prevent self-harm in the future.  

Treatment and support for self-harm usually involves talking therapies (such as CBT) and can involve medication.   

There are different services and online support resources about self-harm available, such as Mind, that include useful advice, helplines and contacts.  

The discovery that your child is self-harming can be an extremely upsetting and confusing time. It is important for parents to get help and support as well. A useful starting point can be to contact self-harm or mental health helplines for further advice.  

If your child is struggling to be able to talk to you or others about what is happening, you might also want to suggest they contact a helpline. 

Useful helplines:  

• Self-injury Support  

0808 800 8088 or 0780 047 2908 (text support) - information and support for women and girls affected by self-harm 

• lifesigns.org.uk - user-led self-harm information and support network
• The Samaritans – a free helpline for anyone struggling to cope 116 123  

Advice from professionals and from autistic people who have experienced self-harm, includes: 

• listen to your child to try to understand why they are self-harming. Take time to understand the difficulties they are experiencing 
• ask if there are any ways you can help 
• identify and try to address any self-harm triggers (eg bullying)  
• find safer alternatives such as deep pressure squeezing  
• seek professional advice about therapy options for underlying conditions, such as anxiety.

Useful links

Personal accounts

The following accounts may share information and experiences that you may find distressing.

Greenwood, G. (2017) Autism and self-harm. Seeing double, understanding autism 

Jubaris, M. (2019) Bleeding: An insider's account. Spectrum Life Magazine 

Sam (2017) Autism and mental health: Proving everyone wrong. Young Minds 

SwedishRebornMum (2012) My life story - self harm, aspergers, anxiety, suicide attempts. YouTube 

Resources

Autism West Midlands (2016) Autism and self-injury  

Mental Health Foundation (N.D.) The truth about self-harm

Karim, K., Baines, S. (2016) Deliberate self-harm in autistic children and young people. National Autistic Society  

National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (2011) Self-harm in over 8s: long-term management. Clinical guideline [CG133] 

NHS (2020) Where to get help for self-harm

Sanctuary, L. (2017) Autism and self-harm. National Autistic Society 

Young Minds (N.D.) Supporting your child who is self-harming. (Accessed: June 2020)